as i sit here in ottumwa, iowa eating some of my mom’s infamous scrambled eggs, i have to be thankful that i made it here in once piece based on yesterday’s incidents.
after a lovely dinner at amore victoria wednesday night with some of my favorite ladies, i decided to stay in uptown instead of driving back home. nothing out of the ordinary, right?
as i walk out of lindsay’s apartment to get to my car i realize, my car isn’t there. oh crap. (insert worse words) my car was towed. never the best way to start one’s day. i walk to the lund’s grocery store to get some cash and call a cab to come pick me up to go to the impound lot. the cab driver was quite entertaining, so that lifted my mood a bit….until i got to the impound lot and saw the enormous line of people waiting to get their cars.
there were probably about 100 of minneapolis’s finest people waiting in line. after about 40 minutes in line my phone battery was about dead so that meant no more electronic entertainment. i happened to grab one of the free magazines lund’s provides every season so i whipped that out and started reading it. allow me to share the following conversations that come up:
old mechanic man: hey honey, looks like you at the wrong auction!
anna: right, i know.
old mechanic man: i bet you like good food don’t ya honey? do you like to cook? i bet you like to cook good food. you can try out any of those recipes in there on me, i will eat your cooking.
anna: yes, i like to cook, i think i will pass on cooking you something, thanks.
old mechanic: you are very pretty, looks like you work out, do you work out? do you like to stay fit? you are really pretty. i hope you cook me something from that magazine. (leaning closer) and i hope i get you for dessert.
anna: thank you. gross–no, you will not be getting me for dessert and i will not be cooking you anything.
random guy from behind: ah man she a hustler! watch out man, she ain’t playin’.
old mechanic man: i know, we have a feisty one. are you married?
anna: no.
old mechanic man: you engaged?
anna: no.
old mechanic: you got a boyfriend?
anna: yes, and i plan on keeping him.
old mechanic: alright, 2 out of 3 in my favor, that ain’t bad! so what kind of cars you buyin’ here? you don’t seem like the type that buys cars.
anna: i am not here to buy any cars, my car got towed and i came to get it back.
old mechanic: oh well you don’t have to wait in line for that honey! this is just the line for the car auction that starts at 10:30am, we are waiting for our numbers, go on up there.
anna: you have to be kidding, you are serious?
everyone else in line: YES. go on up to window #1!
anna: sweet thanks.
old mechanic: now you reaaaallly owe me dinner!
turns out cars that have been towed and haven’t been picked up for 90 days get auctioned off and are free game for anyone. i learned something new….only cost me $138.
you can tell cars get towed quite a bit in the winter here, they provide a shuttle van that picks you up and drops you off at your car…they have to watch you start it. as i get out of the van to go to my car, i step and eat it hard on a huge ice puddle. legs flying up and landing straight on my butt. the cherry on top. i lay there for a second taking allll of this in.
the van slowly creeps over to me, and i hear “awwww honey, you alright? you bit that one hard!”
well, it can only go up from here, right?? could be worse i suppose, at least my car wasn’t getting auctioned off.
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